Sunday, 18 August 2013

Quotes from my first week and a bit as a junior doctor..

Quotes from my first week and a bit as a junior doctor..

Well its been an eventful and exhausting week and a bit as a "proper" junior doctor.  There's so many anecdotes and stories I could tell you about that I don't know which one to focus on, instead I thought I would share a few quotes to give you a flavour of how the week has been.  As ever please remember none of these quotes/descriptions are entirely accurate so if you think you recognise yourself or a relative, you almost certainly don't...  All of these quotes however are versions of things said to me during my first week or so of work.

Patient: You're a doctor?!? I thought you were a work experience student! (this was the response of the second patient I said "I'm one of the doctors" too, the first one simply said I looked to young to be a doctor)

Gentleman that I'm trying to put a cannula in: Don't worry, just have a try. (firstly isn't it my job to tell him not to worry - clearly need to work on calm expressions! Secondly I'd actually got it in by this point and was just sticking it down..)

Consultant: "And this is wrong.... and this is terrible....and this drug needs to be stopped...and why hasn't this been done...." "I'll forgive you this time as your new but.." - None of the aforementioned mistakes were my own management plan, they were the more senior juniors but I get it, prinicipal role of the FY1 doctor is to be the whipping boy for everyone else's errors. 

Lovely senior nurse: Did you write [plan I had scribed but at instructions of FY]?  Mr [above consultant] is on the warpath about [minor mistake by FY2 in plan] but don't worry I told him you weren't on the ward.
Be nice to the nurses and they will look after you!

Disgruntled patient: What an earth am I paying for the nhs for?!

More "senior" junior doctor friend: Do you want me to lie and say it will get better?
                 Me: Yes please!

FY2 + nurse: Halfadoc, go tell Mr Z that his investigation has been cancelled today so he has been nil by mouth for nothing.  Again, FY1 = everyones whipping boy/ person to be given the most disheartening tasks.

FY2: Make sure you test his anal tone.

Conversation overheard between FY2 and ortho surgeon: Lucky you having to keep testing Mr Y's anal tone.  FY2: Nah I'm getting the FY1 to do it haha.

Consultant grilling me: Come on, this is simple!

Younger patient who I have stayed several hours late for to try and ensure his treatment gets finally started that evening: Do you have kids? [No] Then you can't understand.

Lifesaver ward pharmacists: Did you mean to do x/y/z? [Always no].
Lifesaver ward pharmacists: Would you like to add x/y/z? [Always yes]

FY1 colleague on another awful-paedics ward: We've got to make sure we go to lunch together so its not so lonely and so we can discuss problems.
          Day 8: We finally go to lunch at same time but only because there is a compulsory lunchtime teaching.

Lovely senior nurse:  Here I baked some cake, have a piece.
I repeat: Be nice to the nurses and they will look after you!

Still, 10 days till pay day! Swings and roundabouts etc!  Hope thats given anyone considering medicine a realistic idea about the glamourous first days of being a junior doctor.  And to end on an appriopriate quote: 

Dr Halfadoc  x


  1. Beautiful. You have the talent of making things look less miserable. I was convinced -from navigating blogsphere- that internship is hell itself! Thank you and good luck:)

  2. Ha- love these quotes, as a new F1 myself I can totally relate!

  3. One of my F1 friends had 3 people crash on his first night shift. Which happened to be during his first week. Sounds so surreal that I'll have to experience all this someday!

  4. Thanks all of you :), Chocolate and cream , I've only experienced one crash call since starting (and it wasn't really a true crash call at that ) so don't worry I think your friend has just been very unlucky!